So what is emotional health anyway?

The answer to the question 'what is emotional health?' is not 'feeling happy all the time.' People who are emotionally healthy feel both positive and negative emotions in a way that's appropriate to the situation – when something sad happens, they feel sad, when something good happens, they feel good. They understand their emotions, can control their emotions enough to be able to function, but deal with the cause of a distressing emotion when they can. They work with their emotions instead of fighting them or running away from them.

Of course, emotionally well people can have times when they feel sad or angry, and emotionally unwell people can have times when they feel wonderful – emotional health is more about how one tends to respond to all sorts of situations. Emotionally healthy people show emotional resilience - they bounce back from negative events instead of giving up or becoming overwhelmed.

Here is generally what emotional health and emotional distress look like:

Signs of good emotional health or emotional wellness

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• Can think of a number of healthy and helpful things to do to cope with negative emotions... and does these things. May find coping with emotions to be difficult sometimes, but generally manages well
• Feels negative emotions such as sadness or worry, but bounces back and soon feels positive again without letting the negative emotion overshadow everything
• Recognizes that emotions will pass and does not feel overwhelmed by them
• Engages in problem-focused coping whenever possible (that is, tries to find a solution to the problem that is causing the negative emotions as opposed to just trying to stop the emotional pain)
• Recognizes different emotions and understands what has caused a particular emotion
• Expresses emotions in a way appropriate to the situation
• Feels competent in and good about many different areas of life, even when some parts of life aren't going ideally

Signs of poor emotional health or emotional distress

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• Finds coping with emotions to be a struggle, lacks coping skills in general
• Suppresses emotions, becomes overwhelmed by them, or alternates between these two extremes, which is called emotional dysregulation
• Preoccupied with own emotions or the events/people who have caused pain, can't let go and ruminates chronically
• Engages in self-destructive coping methods like alcohol abuse
• Has difficulty recognizing what emotion is being felt, or does not understand the cause of a particular feeling
• Expresses emotions inappropriately (e.g. sudden weeping at the grocery store or completely emotionless at a funeral)
• Has difficulty with or feels hopeless in regards to important life areas such as work and relationships, feels stuck and unable to change anything

These signs are general – what emotional health or emotional distress looks like won't be the same for each person. We're all different, so how our brains and emotions work is different too. Some people are full of energy when emotionally healthy and become subdued when in emotional pain, while others feel calm when well and unable to keep still when distressed.

The important thing is to pay attention to yourself and how your thoughts and actions make you feel. Emotional wellness is a continuum - you can be generally okay and not emotionally distressed, but still not as emotionally well as you could be. If you feel like you're struggling all the time, or just generally aren't doing so good, working on your emotional health and building emotional resilience can really help.

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